IS BROADSTAIRS POLITICIAN THE CHAMPION FAST TALKER OF THE SOUTH EAST?

CAN YOU SEE HIS LIPS MOVING? NOT AT THIS SPEED YOU CAN’T! 

As the Olympics near, there are rumours of a new event designed not to test people’s speed in running or swimming – but in talking.

Aimed specifically at politicians, anyone in local or national government, it seems, will be eligible to take part.

So how would Thanet’s best fare? We visited Broadstairs’ annual assembly the other night to see how the town’s councillors shaped up.

Councillor David Lawson delivered the annual report of the work of the town council at a stately rate of 2 words per second (that’s about an average speaking rate)

Tim Seed, lagged behind a bit at nearer a solid 1 word per second.

Councillor Zeta Wiltshire, came somewhere in between at 1.25 words per second.

But way out in front was champion talker Chris Wells… at an amazing 6.25 words per second!

That’s over three times the speed of normal human beings and at a frequency which has been known to induce spasms of madness in Jack Russell terriers.

We believe he is now one of the fastest speaking politicians in the entire South East of England.

We can’t swear to the quality or truth or sanity of what he says, of course – but that’s not the point. Bring on the Oratorical Olympics. Broadstairs can beat them all.

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